How to learn to love yourself.

by - 18:33:00

Hello everyone, hope you're doing well! My favourite posts to write are the positive self-care ones, they're such a joy to write and they help me and those that read them. So today's post is about loving yourself. I have written posts similar to this before have a look at my body image post!

This is something that many of us struggle with, we often speak more negatively about ourselves rather than speak about ourselves in a positive way. An example of this could be that you've managed to do your winged eyeliner so well today, but you also feel self-conscious about how your body looks today. For some reason the negative thought will stick in our minds and not the positive thought. Any way, I thought I'd make a little list because who doesn't love a list - I sure do!



Here are some inspiring tips on how you can learn to love yourself and get rid of those negative thoughts: 


🎕Care as much about yourself as you do for others. 

When you have a friend or family member that is feeling down or saying that 'they don't like the way their hair looks today' what do you say back in return? You tell they're being silly and that it looks great as always, so why don't we do that to ourselves? Many of us tend not to care about ourselves as much as those that we love because we feel that we're being selfish to think like that, or that our own needs are not as important - let me tell you something, they're very important. Be gentle to yourself, tell yourself you look fabulous, tell yourself you're doing great - go on, do it now, say out loud something that you've done well on today! Mine is that I've written up a bunch of blog posts today and I'm pretty proud of that. 

🎕Note down your boundaries and keep to them. 

What I mean by this is if you write a list of things that are important to you and it can upset you or hurt your feelings if they are violated or ignored. For example something that is important to you could be that you like to be listened to and then if someone ignores that by talking over you or purposely doesn't listen to you don't ignore that boundary. Tell that person that you hate it when you're trying to speak and someone talks over you. Let people know what your boundaries are, don't just think, 'oh well, I guess it isn't important anyway' because it is! This is something to think about when you're in relationships - they're a two-way thing, you need to be assertive with each other, you need to know that you'll get the respect you deserve back. As well, being assertive and taking action to meet your own needs can help build your self-esteem as it'll reinforce the belief in yourself and others that you deserve to be loved. 

🎕Have fun by yourself. 

It's important that you can have fun by yourself and you aren't always relying on others to keep you entertained. It's good to enjoy your own company and feel more confident doing things on your own. Maybe you fancy having a nice lunch out? Then go to that cafe you really like, sit down and have some delicious food and read through a book or bring along your laptop to do some writing. I don't know about you, but I love having me-time. Of course it's lovely having people over, or going out and doing something but sometimes I just want to get cosy in bed, put something on Netflix that I love, get some snacks, perhaps put a face-mask on and just have that time with myself. 

🎕Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

This is an important one. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect, we can't get hung up on our mistakes, we're only human! Perhaps there's a mistake that you have made years ago but it's always stuck in the back of your mind and it continuously comes back to haunt you every so often. Maybe you should confront it and forgive yourself, clear it from your mind, it's done now and there's nothing you can do about it, it's time to let it go. Loving yourself despite any mistakes you made in the past is great for your self-worth. 

🎕Celebrate your successes and give yourself that credit you deserve. 

I'm sure if you were to write a list of what you have done that you're proud of they'd be loads. Or maybe you've received a certificate from a competition or from school that you got ages ago but hey well done you (that's what you should be saying to yourself.)  As well as writing down your accomplishments why not actually celebrate them too, tell others what you have achieved, treat yourself, do something nice, give yourself the credit that you deserve. 

🎕Learn to say no to others. 

Be a little selfish. If someone asks you to do something but you don't want to then say no, it's your choice not theirs. For some reason we like to please other people more than ourselves and I understand you do it because you love that person and you want them to be happy but as long as it's not all you do. You can become overwhelmed if you have so many people asking you to do this or to do that, so sometimes just say no. 

🎕Give yourself a break! 

We all deserve breaks every so often, we deserve to feel relaxed. It's natural that we are hard on ourselves, like I said before, no one is perfect so you can't expect yourself to be. Perhaps put aside some time once or twice a week where it's just about you and no one else. Relax, take a break from life, have a relaxing bath, watch your favourite program, play your favourite video game, give yourself that time. 

🎕Do what you need to do to feel good about yourself. 

What is it that makes you feel good? Is it baking some cakes or cooking your favourite recipe? Is it doing a workout? Is it doing some writing? Whatever it is do it, make time to do it. Compare things - how do you feel at work? Stressed or tired? And then how do you feel when you're playing video games - excited and relaxed? Do what makes you feel good as often as you can! Don't let people talk you out of doing something you love because that's just you being you. 

I hope you enjoyed this post! What is something you love about yourself? Or what is something that you have accomplished that you are proud of? 

As always, 
Chat soon ♥

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My self-care reading recommendation:


Today I am recommending - Mindfulness for Cats by Sam Hart. This is the cutest little book you'll ever see, every page is pictures of cats with inspirational quotes. If you're someone who loves quotes, you'll love this book! The quotes are all little self help messages that make you think and help you to learn to love and take care of yourself. Also if you love looking at cute cats then what more could you want really! Here's the link:






♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

→Some links may be affiliate links so I can get a small amount of money through them.

😊Links: 
Donations - paypal.me/chloechats

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38 comments

  1. These are such great tips! Especially the first one, I know I judge myself way more harshly than anyone else. Need to learn to give myself a break x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. Yeah definitely, always good to give yourself a break and treat yourself how you would treat others :) Thank you! xx

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  2. Sometimes, saying no is very hard to do. My favorite tip is to give yourself a break.

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    1. Yeah it definitely can be a hard thing to do! xx

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  3. My tip is to be kind to yourself but also not give up on yourself. Even if you only achieve one thing on a bad day, let it be a shower or a bath!

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  4. I love this! Some fab tips here. I particularly need to have a think about the boundaries one. I constantly let others get away with bad behaviour without tackling it. I'm going to rethink this one now!

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    1. Thank you! Yeah I'm the same with that one, it's a difficult one to tackle! xx

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  5. I'm one of those people who finds it hard to say no to others, but sometimes I know I need to, I got to think about myself sometimes! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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    1. Yes exactly! It is hard to say no but if it's causing you stress or making you unhappy then sometimes you just have to! xx

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  6. Self-Care is so important and I wish I knew about it and the importance of it when I were in my twenties.

    Now, in my early forties, I am a big advocate of practising self-care and make sure I do it daily – in fact, I have blocked out time on my calendar for it – you know the saying; if it’s not scheduled – it’s not happening!

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    1. It is so important! That's a good idea to schedule it into your calendar - must give you more motivation to practise self care! xx

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  7. I LOVE this kind of posts. I used to be really insecure but it's gotten a lot better now and it's nice to see people like you sharing tips on loving yourself!

    Thanks for sharing, Chloe!

    Layna
    www.beautybeyondtwenty.com

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    1. Me too! I love reading these kind of posts and writing them, they're often so therapeutic to write and always so lovely to help others. Glad it's gotten better for you! :) xx

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  8. These are really great tips Chloe! I especially love the suggestion of writing down all your successes and accomplishments and celebrating them. That's such a positive thing to do. Sometimes life gets so busy we forget about all the good things we have done and just worry about what we haven't yet achieved. Thank you for sharing this inspirational post <3 xx

    Bexa | www.hellobexa.com

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    1. Thank you! Yeah that's one of my favourites - as you said, a really positive thing to do. Thank you for reading :D xx

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  9. Really good tips. It is hard to love yourself

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    1. Thank you and it can be difficult but it's definitely do-able :) xx

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  10. I love all these tips. This is a part of showing respect for ourselves, and it's so easy to just overlook it cause ... it's us! I love the book recommendation for this post! I'd read it :) Thank you for posting this!

    https://geraldinetalks

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    1. Thank you! It is so easy to overlook self love for ourselves but we should do it more often :) no worries! xx

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  11. Chloe you gave some amazing tips and I agree with you, we have to love ourselves and never speak negatively about who we are because that ruins our internal environment making us perform even worse than we claim.

    Natonya | https://justnatonya.wordpress.com/

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    1. Thank you glad you enjoyed reading! Yes definitely, it's so important to love ourselves! xx

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  12. Great post! I'm ALL for celebrating your own successes!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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  13. Loved this post!
    I definitely like the writing down accomplishments - that's exactly why I made a categorised bucket list, it massively helps me to see just how much I've achieved.
    There's so many in here that I need to get into practicing myself; some great tips!

    Chelsea | https://www.twoofamind.com

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    1. Thank you! Writing down accomplishments is such a nice thing to do and it really helps to make you feel more positive about yourself! xx

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  14. This is an amazing post!! It's really important to make sure everyone gets some relaxing time, but I love what you said about saying no to people and making sure you're as nice to yourself as you are to others. You're completely right: we automatically jump to defend others but only focus on the negatives when it comes to ourselves. Fantastic post, thanks!

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    1. Aw thank you!! Yes definitely, sometimes we have to say no, otherwise we can end up stressing ourselves out. And yeah it is odd how we can be so negative about ourselves but are so positive to others! xx

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  15. Thanks for such a great post, Chloe. I tend to overthink and be too hard on myself (so I'm told), but reading this kinda makes me more grounded and remind myself ahaha. Thank you for taking the time to write this!

    Junniku blog!~

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    1. Thank you! I have the habit of overthinking too! Glad it has helped!! xx

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  16. Loved reading this post! I started my self care journey this year and reading posts like this has really helped me! Thank you for the great tips! X

    Rebecca | www.rebeccalouised.wordpress.com

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    1. Thank you! Ahh I'm so glad, I hope its going well <3 x

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  17. This is such a fantastic post Chloe, thanks for the tips!
    I've recently started to forgive myself for mistakes I've made/make and being much kinder to myself


    Liv x
    www.seabreezecorner.com

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    1. Thank you! I'm so glad, we deserve to forgive ourselves! xx

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  18. I love these quotes. I feel like I've been needing a lot of self-love lately and I don't quite know how to do it yet, but reading these sorts of things is always nice because I guess they stay in your head for when you might need it next. Also I love that mindfulness for cats book!! Kitties! xx

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    1. Yeah definitely, I love reading posts like these, they're so inspiring and motivating usually so I love to write them for myself and everyone else that needs it <3 I hope things get better for you, you're great :) I know right! It's the cutest book ever!! xx

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