Monday, 17 September 2018

Practising Gratitude.

Good evening everyone, hope you are well❣

I can't believe how quickly September is going, the weeks are just flying by! Hope you all had a lovely weekend and that Monday hasn't been too bad! I hope you're enjoying my layout of blog posts recently, I wanted to make them look more enjoyable to read rather than just a block of writing - hence why I've added more colourful pictures and added in bullet points as well as text so it doesn't look so boring. ☀

Today I am writing a blog post about practising gratitude. Firstly the meaning of gratitude is the quality of being thankful, readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It's a very good self care practise to follow and really helps to make you feel good about yourself.



Practising gratitude ⇊


If you search online for the 'benefits of gratitude' you will find so much about it. There has been numerous studies on it and there has been loads of benefits found.

Have a look at this post: http://happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/

There are 5 main aspects that come from the benefits of gratitude which I will list below - this is a list found from a study that was done on gratitude.

Emotional:
♥More good feeling.
♥More relaxed.
♥More resilient.
♥Less Envious.
♥Happier Memories.

Personality:
♥Less materialistic.
♥Less self-centered.
♥More optimistic.
♥Increased self-esteem.
♥More spiritual.

Health:
♥Improved sleep.
♥Less sickness.
♥Longevity.
♥Increased energy.
♥More exercise.

Career:
♥Better management.
♥Improved networking.
♥Goal achievement.
♥Improved decision making.
♥Increased productivity.

Social:
♥More social.
♥Healthier marriage.
♥Kinder.
♥More friendships.
♥Deeper relationships.

Have a read of the post I linked, it goes into these points in more detail and explains why and how these have all been improved because of gratitude.

▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾

How to develop a gratitude practice ⇊

When we regularly take time out to notice all the good things in our lives we can quickly turn around negativity or anxiousness. As shown above there are studies out there that show that gratitude positively impacts our mental well-being and encourages us to seek out more positivity in our lives.

1You can create a gratitude jar. 
Everyday write down something that you are thankful for in the day and put it into the jar. Then on special occasions or when you're feeling negative about yourself, open the jar and have a read of everything you have written. You could also keep it until the end of the year and that way you can have a look back on the whole year - it's also a nice way to keep memories. 

2Every morning or night state three things you're grateful for. 
This is a nice way to start your day or end your day. If you list them before you go to bed then you can list something that happened that day or by listing them when you first wake up will probably give you a positive outlook on the day ahead. 

3Keep a gratitude diary. 
This is similar to the jar but you could expand on the things you are grateful for. If something happened in the day you can explain the events leading up to it or have more space to write down what had happened. It's also a nice thing to look back on every so often.

4Sharing with a 'gratitude buddy.' 
It's a nice idea to note at least one thing every day you're thankful for and share it with someone else. It can then also help to inspire each other and it's always good to have people around you that are feeling positive too. 

The compliment challenge ⇊

This is a little segment that links to gratitude and being positive. I've read about this before and I feel it is very helpful and positive to try this out. 

Challenge: For the next seven days every time someone gives you a compliment simply smile and say thank you. Don't push the compliment aside, dismiss it or downplay it. Acknowledge it and accept it for the gift it is. 

You might find it a little uncomfortable to begin with as most of the time when we receive compliments we would respond with a compliment back to the person or just generally dismissing it. 

Whilst doing this another challenge alongside it - compliment other people when you see them do something well or when you notice something else you feel deserves attention. How do you feel when that person you have just given a compliment to lights up and accepts it compared to when someone downplays it or dismisses it? 

I hope you enjoyed this blog post and let me know if you try out that challenge! 

As always, chat soon. 





Sunday, 9 September 2018

The Beauty of Sleep.

Good afternoon guys! 


Hope you had a lovely week and a good start to September! This is my birthday month...I will soon be 24 which doesn't feel like much of a difference for me. However I have some lovely things planned this month that I have to look forward to. 😁

Today's post is going to be about sleep. I don't know about you, but I absolutely love sleeping. It's so peaceful and can make you feel so refreshed, and isn't it just the best getting into a bed with freshly washed bed sheets?!


The importance of beauty sleep ⇊

Sleeping is vital for our well-being but it is often overlooked. We often feel that in order to get everything done or in order to make the most of your day you should sleep less so you have more hours in the day. However being sleep deprived will really impact on your mental state and will interfere with all those activities you have planned to do. There are so many studies on sleep and why we need it, here are a few theories that sleeping can do for us: 

☀Sleep helps us to process and store memories, there are brain scans of people sleeping and it shows how our brains move pieces of information  from short-term memory into the long-term memory. 

☀Also when we are asleep our bodies are repairing and restoring muscles and tissues as well as synthesising hormones which is vital for our bodies to function properly. 

▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾

What goes on whilst we sleep? 

Sleep occurs in ninety minute cycles split into four parts. The first part is where we feel drowsy and we go into a light sleep. This is often called 'true sleep' and makes up fifty percent of a night's sleep. The body starts slowing down, our blood pressure drops and our breathing then slows down. 

The next stage we go into is a slow wave sleep which is then followed by the 'deep sleep' stage. This is the moment where our body starts repairing and restoring our muscles and tissues, renews skins cells and fights off the bad cells. 

The last stage is called the REM stage. At this stage our heart rate and blood pressure rise and our limbs become paralysed as we move into a dream state. It's at this stage when our memories are processed and moved from short-term to our long-term memory. 

Learning about our bodies and minds as we sleep is very interesting as we have no idea what goes on to ourselves and it also shows just how important it is for us to sleep and get enough sleep. 

▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾

What happens if we don't get enough sleep?

There are many studies that show being sleep deprived can affect our health, mental well-being and our productivity. 

People who suffer with insomnia usually suffer from greater levels of depression and anxiety than those who sleep normally. As well as lack of sleep affected our mental well-being it can also affect many physical risks. An example of this is that one in five traffic accidents in the UK are caused by fatigue. 

However it's not always easy to know if you are getting enough sleep. Here are some indicators that you may get if you are sleep deprived: 

🌛Having poor concentration and lacking focus.

🌛Putting on weight and craving more sugary things.

🌛Getting colds, bugs or coughs more frequently.

🌛Always hitting the snooze button on your alarm when you wake up.

These often show that you might need to work on your sleeping pattern a little more. 

▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾

Ways to improve sleep?

There's multiple things you can do to sleep better. You can have a relaxing bath before going to bed, using calming sprays or creams that you can put on or spray onto your pillow when you're about to go to sleep, change your bed sheets so you are sleeping in a freshly made bed, put on some sounds that help you go to sleep (like rainy mood), wear comfortable pyjamas, try not to eat too late at night, try not to watch TV or play games just before you go to sleep, and also ban technology from the bedroom. 

There's been studies done on people who bring technology to the bedroom and it is now known that this can affect how you sleep. 

→Our bodies are programmed to respond to light levels and as it becomes night outside our bodies naturally start producing melatonin which makes us drowsy and ready to sleep. However the lights that emit from laptops/mobile phones etc can suppress the production of melatonin which can then lead to us feeling more awake and harder to get to sleep. It is also known that if you have your phone on your bedside table and you get a notification the screen lights up your body responds to the light and starts to bring you out of sleep. 

→This impacts our sleep cycles but it also impacts our health too. Melatonin has a key role to play in our body and if there is less of it, it has been shown to increase risk of heart disease, stroke, type two diabetes, depression and dementia as well as many more. 

It's always a good idea to keep your tech out of the bedroom, which is why many suggest it is better to have an old fashioned alarm clock rather than your phone as an alarm that way your phone isn't in your room. However you can always have your phone in the room with you but make sure you turn it over so you can't see the screen or any lights flash up and disturb your sleep. 

▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾

Why not set up a night time routine?

Having a regular bedtime routine can really help with giving you the sleep you need! Here is a little list of things that you should consider doing every night: 

🌛Turn down your lights. If it's getting late and it's almost time to go to sleep why not turn down your lights so the room isn't as bright and your body can start producing melatonin. 

🌛Turn of your tech. If you know you have about half hour before you usually go to bed why don't you turn it all off, maybe put away the dishes you used for dinner or get into bed with a book.

🌛Have a bath. As you know baths are known to relax you and the hot water can really help with relaxing your muscles, If you don't have a bath then a shower could also be a good thing. 

🌛Lighting some candles. It is well known that candles and their scents can help to relax you, you could light a few candles and place them on your bedside table whilst you're reading your book.

🌛Buying luxurious and soft pyjama's to help you feel more cosy and relaxed.

🌛Play some relaxing music, like I mentioned above rainy mood is a very good one for this.

🌛Spraying calming spray onto your pillow, like lavender for example. 



I hope you have enjoyed my blog post on sleep and why it is so important! Thank you for reading, enjoy your Sunday. 

As always, chat soon. 





Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Boosting your happiness: Part two.

Good evening everyone! ☀


Hope you enjoyed your bank holiday weekend! If you haven't already have a look at my previous post: Boosting your happiness - before reading this one! This is a second part as I explained in the post before that I wanted to show you my list of things that make me happy and also to just expand on the happiness subject.


As I'm writing this I'm actually having a pretty bad day today - I feel like it's important to document sometimes because it just shows that you're not alone and I still have bad days. I'm feeling pretty lonely today and I think that's why I'm not feeling so happy. If you have read previous posts on my blog you'll be aware that I moved out and away from home to a new place in Birmingham which I absolutely love don't get me wrong. I have had a lovely few weeks here and I am looking forward to the weeks to come! In leaving my home in Northampton I made the choice to move away from my family, my friends, leave my job, and move away from people that I could easily hang out with when I wanted to. Living in Birmingham I don't know anyone here except for my boyfriend and yes of course I can travel to see people, I have been back to Northampton and I have had people come up here to see me but sometimes I do feel a bit on my own I guess - I can't really set up a random 'oh let's go to the cinema tonight!' with my friends or family because I have to travel to do that now so it has to be planned. That's fine though, it's what growing up means and I still get to see the people I love but I just wanted you to see that I still have bad days - tomorrow will be a new day and every weekend I have met up with people, gone out, visited home etc.

▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾

Things that make me happy ⇊

Here's a list of some things that make me happy - my list I have is very long because I did start it over five months ago and I do add to it so I will only list a select few: 

🌞A warm shower.

🌞Eating my favourite food.

🌞Listening to music.

🌞Going to the cinema.

🌞Watching a film/TV series on Netflix.

🌞Hanging out with friends and family.

🌞Watching Yogscast and Hatfilms videos on YouTube - Particularly the TTT videos. 

🌞Being with Adam and talking to him.

🌞Funny SnapChats.

🌞Playing the keyboard.

🌞Playing a game I'm in the mood for.

🌞Treats from myself or other people.

🌞Compliments.

🌞Being included.

🌞Cuddles.

🌞Otis and Xavier (my cat and hamster).

🌞A tidy room.

🌞Keeping busy.

🌞Getting dressed up and doing my make-up.

🌞Being cosy and having a hot chocolate with marshmallows. 

🌞A cup of tea.

🌞Aerobics with Geoff (sadly I no longer can attend his classes😢).

🌞Playing card games. 

🌞Watching animal videos. 

These are a select few and you might read some and think they're strange or why would that make me happy but it's personal to me so we all will have different lists. 

It's a nice activity to do and I would recommend you do it to, list ten things now that make you happy...go! 

Also whenever you are feeling down you can always have a look at your list and do one of them, you'll know for sure they'll cheer you up even if it's just for that moment. 

Professional information and self help for boosting happiness ⇊

I read a lot of self help books and looked online for advice from professionals as I got to a point that I need the help and I needed to learn how to help myself. Here are some more ways on how to be happier: 

(I have taken these select few from the NHS website: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/)

1Manage your stress levels. 
If you have a build up of things that are making you feel stressed then this will have a huge impact on your happiness. It's a good idea to work on the those things and find a way to manage them, clearing your mind will help you a lot. You can also do some exercise, some breathing techniques, or taking control of your time - all of these are positive steps to help you feel better. 

2Enjoy yourself. 
As I have mentioned before it's always good to treat yourself and partake in activities that you know you'll enjoy. Try and find the funny things in certain situations, and also a good tip is to try not to do something that is only enjoyable at the time - for example drinking alcohol or eating too much junk food. 

3Boost your self-esteem. 
If you haven't already have a look at my previous post on this subject: Tips to improve your self confidence. Try and treat yourself the way you treat a friend that you value. They have added an example for this on the NHS website which is - notice when you're putting yourself down, "I'm so stupid for not getting that job" but if that was a friend would you say that to them? You wouldn't, you'd say something like "don't worry about it, you did your best and they'll be other opportunities out there." 

4Have a healthy lifestyle. 
Limit your alcohol intake, choose a well-balanced diet - a good diet makes your brain and body work efficiently, do some exercise and get enough sleep. I have written about these a lot in previous posts but it's so important to look after your physical health because it has such a big affect on your mental health. 

5Talk and share. 
When you have something that's on your mind and it's really bothering you how do you feel when you tell someone about it? I find that talking to people about things that are bothering me really help. You don't have to go to a professional, talking to loved ones can be just as helpful. However if you find it difficult to talk to the people you know about it then there are so many anonymous helplines out there. 

6Build your resilience. 

Resilience is what allows you to cope with the ups and downs in your life. Making something worthwhile out of painful times helps your resilience grow. If you go through something bad in your life try and make something creative out of it, you could write or sing - this helps you to express pain and get you through those hard times.


I hope you have enjoyed my little series of posts about happiness - I know there's a lot of information to take in but I hope something you have read has helped. Enjoy your week and I will be back as soon as I can. 

As always, 
chat soon. 

Thursday, 23 August 2018

Boosting your happiness.

Good evening everyone! 

Hope you are well, apologies that there hasn't been a post for a few weeks now sometimes I find it difficult to juggle everything all at once. I took a bit of time off my blog to concentrate on other important things that I have going on at the moment, hope you didn't miss me too much! 😉

For a few days now I have wanted to write a post but I have struggled to choose what to write about. I have a lot of ideas for blog posts but sometimes I don't like to write them if I'm not feeling it at the time. Today I thought I'd do a post on happiness - what is happiness? What makes you happy? How important is happiness to you? How often are you happy? How do you find happiness?


To me, life is all about happiness, your own happiness and the happiness of the people around you. I feel that it's so important to be happy, when you're in a good mood you just feel as if you're on top of the world. It's a beautiful feeling but sometimes it can often be hard to make yourself feel happy. It's not normal to be happy every second of your life and you will probably go through some hard times but it's important to pick yourself up and work on your own happiness.


🙶 Happiness isn't a switch that's on or off, it's something you grow.🙷- Lynn Hord. 


About 5-6 months ago when I was having a really bad time I felt like it was impossible to feel happy. I couldn't think of anything that could make me feel happy again and if I went out and did something or my boyfriend came down to visit me I would feel happy temporarily, and it would be gone as soon as those things came to an end. I really hated myself for being like that and thinking so negatively about everything and that just made me feel worse. I also hated that I made others around me feel sad because of me, it was a vicious cycle that I felt would never end. But it did. Of course I feel down every so often and I have negative thoughts, this last month has been very stressful for me and recently I have thought that I'm not getting anywhere with life but I also stop myself from thinking that because I know it's silly and I am trying my best to get where I want to be.

Simple ways to boost your happiness ⇓ 

Here is a list of fun little activities and changes you can do to help with boosting your happiness.



Write a list of things in your life that are great right now and that make you happy. This is something I have done a few times, it can be really surprising just how long the list is. Also you can keep adding to it, you might discover something new that makes you happy. It's also quite therapeutic to list things that make you feel good. Once you have your list whenever you are feeling down you can always look back at it and try and action one of those listed.


Choose a happy song to play to lift your mood whenever you need it. Do you have that one song that you absolutely love, and every time you hear it you can't help but smile, or it just lifts your mood as soon as you hear it? Play that song. Close you eyes whilst you listen if that helps too. You can also find a 'happy' playlist online to listen to, music really helps to change your mood.

Another music idea is to change your alarm on your phone to a favourite song or a song that immediately makes you happy - it can be a lot nicer waking up to that in the morning than just that droning beep!


List some activities you can do that don't cost any money to do that you know makes you happy. A good one for me is going on a picnic, I love getting it all ready beforehand and then going somewhere you know is a good spot, chilling, talking, eating, or even just sitting there quietly reading or people watching. Maybe you enjoy going for a walk?


Create a happiness planner. Plan events or goals that you'd like to do and write them down into a planner. You can then add to it by writing down what actions you can take to complete the goals or countdown the days to those special days and events you have planned for.


Buying yourself the things you love. Do you feel happy when you buy some new clothes or a new book? Does it spark joy and increase your happiness when you buy something you love? It's not good to go crazy and buy things all the time to make yourself feel good however every once in a while it's always a good happiness boost to spend a little time on yourself.


Create a morning ritual to start your day with a smile. If there is something that puts you in a better mood before you start your day off then go for it. May that be something simple like having your morning coffee at the table whilst reading a magazine or listening to the news on the radio. If you have the time to maybe going to a exercise class in the morning, taking a walk, or doing some meditating. I find that when I wake up not feeling great that mindfulness is something that really helps me. I use this whenever I'm feeling anxious or stressed about something too. I'll stop what I'm doing, close my eyes and focus on the noises I can hear around me. When I hear a certain noise I'll name it in my head, even if I'm somewhere that's super noisy like in a restaurant I find it helps to just close you eyes and focus on the sounds around you - it really relaxes me.

I hope there is something in this list that can help you with boosting your happiness. I will do another part to this post this weekend where I will show you my list of things that make me happy. I will also give you some more advice on boosting happiness.

What makes you happy? Comment below!

As always, chat soon.








Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Tips to improve your self confidence.

Hello all!

Hope everyone is feeling good. I wanted to write a post on some tips to improving your self-confidence and esteem. I've always struggled with being confident in myself for absolutely everything. May it be for a job interview and not feeling like your good enough, leaving the house and not feeling like you look good enough to be seen in public, creating something - for example a blog and thinking it's average, thinking that you're not good enough for someone because of the way you act or look etc. The list can go on and on and I'm not the only person in the world to feel like this. A good while ago for me my self-esteem was pretty bad, all those things I just listed are examples of how I've felt in the past and some I still do to this day struggle with. I wouldn't say I'm fully confident and never say bad things about myself because I do it all the time but why do we do it?

Having low self-esteem and having zero confidence can stop you from living the life you want to live. It can get in the way of so many things and can cause you to not do something because of it, which you will probably later regret or you'll be thinking 'what if?'

I wanted to include a list of ways you can improve your self-esteem and confidence, I did a lot of research into this before writing this post and it's a good positive for me to read about tips too.



⇨Firstly it's good to think what it is that is affecting your self-esteem that way it'll be easier to help yourself. 

There could be many reasons to why someone may have a low self-esteem, it could be down to that person being bullied, finding it hard to get a job or loss of a job, having ongoing stress, having a physical illness can make you feel low, or being in a difficult relationship/going through a separation. There's a lot of factors that can bring your confidence down but there's always a way to pick yourself up again. 

It's good to remind yourself that you have the right to feel good, it can be hard to break bad habits but there are steps that you can take to feel better about yourself even if it is one baby step at a time. 

⇨Avoid being negative - this is a massive one. 

Everyone does this, it could be that you're entering a competition and before you have even participated in it you're saying you won't win. It could be that you've learnt a part of a song on your instrument but you say to yourself that you'll never be able to learn it all. There's so many examples of this and I'm sure you can think of many more yourself. I've woken up before thinking 'this is going to be a bad day' - but why is it? It's not started yet, you'll only know it's going to be a bad day once you experience the day. 

Learning to identify and challenge your negative self-beliefs can have a positive impact. There are also so many self help resources out there that can help with making you think much more positively, often any reading you might find on cognitive behavioural therapy may help you to think about the way you view yourself and get you into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about yourself. 

⇨Connecting with people who love you. 

If you hang around with people that say negative things about you, even if they joke about it constantly it will affect how you feel. If you hang out with those that say good things about you, you're more likely to start believing it yourself even if you don't to start with.

It can also help for you to talk to love ones about how you feel because they will point out all the great things about you and make you feel good about yourself.

⇨Learn to be assertive. 

If you don't like yourself it's easy then to think that others won't like you either. Sometimes you might go out of your way to help people but if its not reciprocated it makes you feel worse about yourself. It's good to be nice to others and to help them out but don't over stretch yourself to please others as it leaves you with less energy to focus on yourself, and can have a bad affect on your mental health.

Learn to say 'no' - if you don't want to do something then don't, you can't do everything just to make someone happy when you're not looking after yourself and making yourself feel happy. Take control of your own decisions as well, if there's something you want to do but someone else is telling you not to why should you do as they say? Unless it's something stupid but you get what I mean.

You'll probably find it hard to break these habits but making small changes to be more assertive will help you get used to it.

⇨Set yourself challenges. 

If you have a hobby you enjoy doing then do more of it. You could join a new class or volunteer for something you are really passionate about. It can be difficult to set goals and challenges especially if you don't feel confident or if you worry about what people may think. But these goals and challenges don't have to be massive, they can be small goals. You could make a challenge of trying to cook a new recipe or learning lyrics to a song you really like, these can still help you feel more positive about yourself. 

Always remember you don't have to be perfect at something to enjoy yourself. As well as starting a new hobby and joining a new class, it's a good way of meeting new people that you have something in common with. 

⇨Focus on your positives and act positive even if you aren't. 

If you automatically think that you're not good at something this may stop you from doing the things you enjoy or stop you from trying something new. Sometimes if you decide to do something that you're not confident in it's always good to fake it. You know what they say, fake it to make it. If you start thinking positively and confident and say to yourself 'I'm going to be so good at this' you'll probably find that you'll do really well. 

Why not try to celebrate your successes, no matter if they are really small to you, take time to praise yourself and reflect on what you did well. It's also good to accept compliments from others, you could even write down any compliments you receive and when you're doubting yourself have a look at them. Continuing with noting things down sometimes you can surprise yourself and make yourself feel good by writing a list of what you like about yourself. It doesn't have to just be the way you look, but also your personality and what you like doing/what you're good at. 

⇨Take care of yourself, dress nicely, stand tall and smile. 

Sometimes when you're not feeling confident it helps to really dress up for the day. Who cares if you're not going anywhere special or not even leaving the house at all? Sometimes making yourself look well presented makes you feel good about yourself. Smiling is also a very powerful thing. If you're not feeling confident sometimes if you just plant a smile on your face it can change the way others see you and therefore can help with your confidence. 

Usually if you have low self-esteem its hard to find motivation to take care of your physical health. You might even feel bad or feel you've let yourself down when you spend time on yourself, but it's so important for your mental well-being. 

⇨Get support if things are too much.

Lastly but not least, if you are struggling then please do get the support you need. May that be professional support or support from loved ones - there are people out there who want to help. 


I hope you enjoyed reading this post and remember to look after yourself.

As always, chat soon. 
💕


Thursday, 26 July 2018

What would you tell your younger self?

Good evening, 


Hope you're well. I've been a bit absent lately due to major changes going on with me, the top two being a job change and moving out of my home town - so it's been a bit busy I guess you could say! It's emotional having to leave things behind that you're so used to and being away from people you've known forever but at the same time I'm excited for my new journey to begin! I always think if you don't leave your comfort zone and push yourself to do new things then you'll be stuck in the same place doing the same thing and that's no fun right? Life's for living, creating and learning new experiences. Anyway before I blabber on for far too long about deep things let's start this blog post!

So I sat here for a little bit thinking about what I could write my next post on and this idea popped into my head. If you think back to when you were a bit younger and maybe you were stressing about your school exams, or you thought you'd never be good enough at something, or you wanted to travel the world but thought its not possible, all these things that you've ever failed at but then tried it again and succeeded and no matter how much longer it took you to succeed at it, you still did it, and then you think back to the time that you failed and stressed for nothing?

I decided to write a post about what you would tell your younger self. Also instead of me just going on and on about what I would tell myself I thought I'd include everyone else's answers. So what I have done is asked around people I know for a little quote of what they would tell their younger self and I shall write them below. Names are only included with permission.

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF? 

"Please don't stress so much. Life gets hard and things don't always go the way you want them to but if you keep at it you will succeed and achieve anything you put your mind to." 
                                                                                                                    (Chloe)

"Make the most of the people in your life while they are around."
                                                                                                       (Sue)

"Worry less, don't be afraid to make mistakes and if you're passionate about something don't give up."
                                                                                                                                             (Adam)

"Work hard and think carefully about your love life, be sensible as well as in love."
                                                                                                                                  (Anonymous)

"It's going to be tough but it does get better, you have an amazing family that will support you and love you and you will find genuine friends who will be there for you! The best thing is that you'll find a guy who genuinely loves you for you and he'll change your life." 
                                                                        (Alyx)

"You're not being a burden, go to the doctors, they are there to help."
                                                                                                                    (Matt)

❥ "You'll be okay, life gets better and better, keep playing video games (turns out they don't rot your brain), get more tattoos, be more confident, you're better than you know. Put all you can into your art and studying, be open and compassionate. Keep pushing because you're doing okay. You might work in an office but its not as bad as you imagined. Plus you're getting married to a wonderful person and your journey through life will create some great friendships. Good things lie ahead, keep blooming flower boy." 
                                                                                                                              (Karl)

❥ "I would tell myself not to try and stick to friendships that you knew in your gut were never going to work out, that when you get older your going to be surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and to jump head first at the chances that you are offered because it definitely leads to exciting things."
                                                                                                                                                     (Anna)

"Enjoy yourself, life is too short."
                                                (Martin)

❥"You're embarrassing please stop before you get any older."
                                                                                                                        (Amy)

"You're not as fat as you think, wait five years."
                                                                                                  (Lee)

"Don't worry so much about trying to fit in, Trust your gut and instincts and know your worth. Don't worry about not taking the path everyone else is - it turns out great!"
                                                                                                                                                              (Kayleigh)

"Do well at school."
                                   (Darren)

"Do what you want and don't let anybody put you down and say you can't."
                                                                                                                                                          (Sarah)

"Don't waste time. Never leave what can be done today till tomorrow. Commit, dedicate time and effort to whatever it is you want to do instead of putting it off, because if you keep doing that you'll miss it."
                                                                                                                                                                       (Andy)

"Trust your instinct. Even the people you think should have your best interest at heart do not."
                                                                                                                                                                      (Kim)

"Don't let anyone dim your light." 
                                                                     (Kim)

"Always believe you can."
                                                   (Sue)

"Believe peoples actions and not their words."
                                                                                             (Kim)

"There can be more than one princess at the ball. You are no less than anyone here."
                                                                                                                                                                            (Kim)


I really enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts and advice on what they'd tell their younger self and at the same time it's so uplifting and positive to see all these lovely comments. I just wanted to say a massive thank you to all those that have took part in this blog post you are all amazing. 🖤

For anyone reading this that might be going through a hard time at the moment I just want you to look at this wonderful list and know that it's going to be okay. It might take time and you might fail at something over and over again but you will get there I promise.

If there is anything you would like to add then please do comment below what you would tell your younger self. I've had some great comments come back from those that gave me these answers that said it made them feel positive and therapeutic even thinking about this question and I'm so glad, this is what I was hoping to achieve.

Hope you enjoyed reading this post and as always chat soon!

xx



p.s. Here's the younger me..

Friday, 13 July 2018

Setting yourself goals that are easily manageable.

Good afternoon! 

My new post today is about setting goals. It's always a good thing to set goals if you're feeling stressed and if you feel like goals are impossible to reach then you need to change the way you set your goals. 

For me I feel that setting goals is such a positive activity to do, if you have anything in mind that you would like to achieve then set that as your goal and take the steps you need to do to reach the goal.  Also having a goal, a wish, or a plan can make it more likely that you'll go out and achieve them. Here are some examples you can do to make sure you set realistic goals and can take the steps to achieve them. 



1. Write down your goals. If we list them on paper we are more likely to achieve them. If we think of goals rather than write them down we are probably going to forget them or personally for me they just don't seem as important and I just think, oh I can do that some other time. 

2. To add to writing down you goals it is also important to make sure the goal that is chosen is something reachable and has the right amount of details. For example you could have a goal of 'I need to save money' but you could add to it to make it more achievable by saying, 'I need to save £100 extra this month.' This means you have a main target to focus on and an end date, sometimes if you set a goal without a due date you might not achieve the goal because you can keep dragging it out for months and months. 

3. Make goals exciting. If you set a goal that's not that interesting then you might not complete it. It's always good as well to include a why into your goal. The reason behind a goal is just as important as the goal itself. So with my example earlier of saving £100 extra for this month, why do you need that extra money? Maybe your reasoning could be, oh I'm saving for a holiday or saving for a new car, if you make the reasoning quite an excitable one then achieving the goal will be a fun experience. 

- You could also add steps to achieve the goal that way it could make them even easier to complete if you follow your own steps that you have written down alongside your goal.

So they are just a few things to help you out in achieving your goals. I thought the next half of this post will be my goals that I want to achieve. There's quite a lot of goals I currently have but I will put in my top 3 goals, with due dates, and with reasons why. 


First goal: 
Move into my flat in Birmingham and get settled. Moving in date is the 28th July. We are currently at the stage of finishing off the paperwork, I've started to pack up my things as well so I've just got to finish that off, dismantle some furniture so I can take that with me, finish off the last bit of paperwork and then get everything moved! I'm about 40%  to the completion, once all the paperwork is done it'll take that to 50% as all I'll need to do then is move my stuff up there. 

Second goal: 
Get fit and healthy. Now this is a goal that a lot of people have but it's one of those goals that never have an end date, because once you're in a good place you don't just stop, you have to continue to maintain it. I started this week off with some intense exercising, I have been getting up every morning and doing an hour workout, I've been going out for walks, and I've been trying to not eat too unhealthy. I don't really eat too crazy with regards to unhealthy food because living at home at the moment we don't really have that much unhealthy food, so I guess you could say I'm kind of forcing myself to eat well. I'm hoping once I move out that the weekly shopping will be good and that we will stick to meals, it's never good when it gets to the evening and you don't have anything planned for dinner, I feel like it motivates me less to cook something. 

Third goal:
Get a job that I want. A lot of people have similar goals where they want the job they've 'dreamed' of. I want to stay within the IT industry, and at the moment I am doing a web developer course where I am learning a lot of programming languages - it's tricky I'm not going to lie, but I really enjoy it. Obviously I enjoy creating websites - one of the reasons I enjoy blogging so much, and I always feel so accomplished when I write up a code and it creates cool layouts, designs, and styles of a website. My due date for finishing my course is end of August, there's a lot of lectures, I am currently on lecture 76 and there is 306 - and some of the lectures are about five minutes long but once you do one section there is an end project you have to create which can take hours. My due date for my job is mid August, I'm hoping it'll be before then but that's the latest target. 


So there's some of my goals! I have many more but listing them all would be too much for you guys to read! What's your goals? Have a think now and write down a list, try and write them out how I have so they seem more reasonable and achievable. 

I hope you enjoyed this post, and as always, 

chat soon 

Thursday, 5 July 2018

Keeping A Healthy Mind

Good evening 😊

Hope you are well, today I will publish a small post on how to keep a healthy mind. This is so important with helping with your mental health, having a healthy positive mind will help with your well-being.

How to keep your mind healthy 

Having a balanced diet:

Firstly eating the right food. Of course you already know that eating healthy is good for your physical health but it also helps with your mental health and has a positive effect on your mind. It is suggested that a good diet can play a role in the development, management and prevention of several conditions including - depression, schizophrenia and alzheimer's disease - however this is not to say that it will control these conditions or cure them but helps with the management of these conditions. The Mental Health Foundation have reported that fewer than half of those who report a mental health problem consume less fresh fruit - but this could be because the mental health issues can cause a lack of interest in eating healthily. However that said there is little doubt eating a balanced diet will help with your well-being.

Examples of eating healthily include - eating foods that are antioxidants as they can help improve focus, problem solving, and memory. Fish - you've all probably heard about this before but fish is the ultimate brain food - eating fish a few times a week can help keep a healthy mind. Avocado - these have mono-saturated fat which increases blood flow and with a increased blood flow it helps keep a healthy brain. Whole grains, olive oil, onions (these have antioxidant enzymes that may help block damage to the blood-brain barrier, superfoods - these are the best foods to eat for the most nutritional punch, and I'm also going to add on breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, eating breakfast before you go off to school or work can really help the brain to become more mentally active for the day ahead.

As well as particular good food to eat, supplements are also very important. These include: Omega-3, B Vitamins, Water, Vitamin E, and Vitamin C to name a few. 

Keeping your mind active:

Is it important to keep your mind busy? Over the years there has been studies and speculation that keeping your mind busy can help with diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia. An example of this is that it is suggested that doing crosswords and other brain-training activities that keep your mind active can be very helpful for your mental well-being. 

Other mental activities for your brain can include - playing games like scrabble, as the aim of the game is to create words with the letters you have it can be very stimulating. Reading is another example, you can read anything from books and magazines to the back of cereal boxes, reading keeps your mind pumping and you also learn new things at the same time. You could also watch a thought-provoking movie with films like that it can keep your mind pondering for a few days afterwards too. Video games can also be good at keeping your mind busy, when you play most games you are constantly working out what you need to do and it keeps your brain thinking. You could also be creative and start a new hobby, learning something new keeps your mind very busy, for example learning to play a new instrument.

Physical Exercise: 


Physical exercise keeps your body fit but also keeps your mind and mental well-being healthy. Exercise increases blood-flow and oxygenates the brain. There's a lot of examples you can do for this and it doesn't have to be too crazy.  Examples include gardening - mowing the lawn, planting, raking leaves etc, going swimming - this is quite a good one as it's very good for you and it's fun to do at the same time, go on a walk or a bike ride, dance, play some sports - tennis/golf/football/rugby etc. I always find after doing exercise I feel so happy, I find when I'm in a bad mood and decide to do some exercise I always feel good afterwards.

Challenge your brain: 

 Learning new things is a great way to keep your mind active and healthy. Even if you heard someone say a word you hadn't heard of before, look it up, or if you see a flower that you don't recognise - find out what it is. More examples include music, as I said previously learn a new instrument, learn how to read music, or research into some new music. Learn a new language, back when you were at school did you study a foreign language? Pick that up again. Other examples include, taking up art, playing some chess, making a switch in your career, travel somewhere you've always wanted to go, go back to university - always wanted to get a degree in something but hadn't gotten the chance when you left school? Go for it now, it's never too late.


Reducing Stress: 

I have written blog posts about reducing stress so if you would like more discussion and help then please have a look at my previous posts. Reducing stress can help keep your mind healthy, make sure when you are feeling stressed that you can relax yourself.

A few examples can be - bathing, having a soak in a hot bath can help, meditation can improve focus and stress, taking deep breaths can be a form of relaxation and it also oxygenates the body which keeps the brain healthy, relaxation exercises such as Yoga can help teach your body to feel calmer which will then reduce stress, having fun - take time away from work and responsibilities to just enjoy life as everyone needs a break, think positively and say yes to things, smile and laugh often not only will this help you but it will also affect those around you, get plenty of sleep - make sure you get enough sleep every night, and lastly get a pet -they can help with isolation and loneliness and help to reduce stress.

Stimulate your senses: 


When you take part in something that incorporates one or more of your senses it stimulates brain activity and helps to keep your mind sharp as well as strengthening your mental acuity.

Examples include - sculpting, you use your brain to be creative and design a sculpture but you are also using your hands to feel the clay.Aromatherapy which I have mentioned before, this can really help with stress levels and calm you down, it can also be as easy as having a nice smelling candle lit whilst you are doing something else such as reading or writing. Get a message - as well as having the stress and tension worked out they often include essential oils which gives you the added benefit of a pleasant scent. Try new food - trying new food uses a few of your senses, it uses your sense of taste, your smell and your sight. Gardening can also be very beneficial in stimulating your senses, you get the feel of the soil as you plant some flowers, you can hear the nature around you, you can taste herbs or veg/fruit you've planted, and you can also appreciate the colour and beauty of the flowers you have nurtured. Going to a concert - listening to music really helps to stimulate your brain.The list goes on and on but those are just a few examples.

Be Social: 


Being social helps reduce isolation and stress and stimulates the brain through shared learning experiences and emotional connections. There's so many ways nowadays to keep social, it doesn't have to be in person.

You can email or send a letter to a friend, I think it's always quite nice when you get a post card from a friend. You could join a club - it's a great way to make friends with people who have the same interests as you. You can always pick up the phone and have a chat to someone. Go out to dinner with friends or invite friends over for a dinner, go to a cooking class or a book group, play online games with some friends or just have an online chat, you can also find online discussion groups and find a topic you are interested in and chat to others who are also interested in the same topics as you.


There's so many ways to keep your mind healthy and a lot of them are so easy to do in your spare time. I hope this post has helped you or even given you some ideas of what you can do if you feel stressed or that your mind is not in a good place. I'm sure I'll write up another post about this as it's already gotten too long!

As always, chat soon.

Thought I'd add my cute lil cat on here ❤







Friday, 29 June 2018

A little Life Update.

Good afternoon! 

How amazing is the weather at the moment, I feel like I'm on holiday! Although it isn't so nice when you're trying to sleep in the evenings...

Anyway today I thought I'd write a little post on my life update, where I'm at, what's going on, and how I'm feeling. 

Apologies as there hasn't been a blog post in a few weeks my life at the moment is just chaos - but in a good way! Yesterday was my last day at my job as I am moving out of Northampton, all very exciting! It has been quite scary for me, it feels like I've taken such a risk in leaving my job and leaving my home here to start a new life in Birmingham but at the same time it's so exciting, I'm about to start a new adventure in a massive city, with loads of opportunities and I get to live with my boyfriend. Another plus is that it isn't too far away from here, it would only take me an hour on a train to come back and visit so I'm sure I shall be doing that every so often - I'm going to have to come back to see my cat!! (and my family and friends too of course.)

How has my anxiety been? 

If I were to compare myself from the end of last year/beginning of this year to this very day I have come a long way. I haven't had any issues with eating, I haven't been getting so tired all the time, I haven't been getting myself ill or stressed and I feel happy. I'm super happy that things have started to happen, for example moving out of my family home and moving in with my boyfriend - I feel like that has been a long time coming but I'm also quite grateful that we've had so many years apart to save up and make sure the moment was right before doing it.

Obviously the whole moving in thing can be a little stressful but I'm just trying to take it one step at a time, I don't want to work myself up about it when it should be an enjoyable experience.

Of course as well it has been a big gamble to leave my job and go into the unknown, I haven't got another job in Birmingham lined up yet but I'm sure they'll be some exciting opportunities for me. I know that I may find this next month quite a stressful one and I'm sure I'll even panic about it but I know it's going to be fine - and that's what I have to keep telling myself.

I am still trying to grow my confidence and do things that I wouldn't normally do - one thing for me is wearing dresses/skirts/shorts without tights. For most that's probably a really silly thing, but for most of my life even when it's been summer in the UK I will always wear tights or trousers, I don't think I've gone out of my house here with my legs out in years but hopefully I can change that, especially with this weather we are having! So there are little things that I'd like to get better at, and I know I'm probably going to freak out at every job interview I have that's coming up but I know I can do it.


I hope you've all had a lovely week and enjoy the sunshine this weekend - looks like it's going to be a hot one! I might even have myself a little BBQ because that's what us brits do when we get a little bit of sun.

I will be back again very soon with another blog post! As always, chat soon. 🌞

Salou, from the holiday I have just been on :)

Wednesday, 13 June 2018

Managing Stress and Anxiety

Good evening all 💓

Hope you are all feeling good and having a wonderful day. Today I am writing a post on ways to manage stress and anxiety - I know it can be difficult to do so even if you have all the advice on how to do it - I struggle with this, but I find it helpful to read some tips on it.

Ways to manage


1. Find out what triggers the stress or anxiety.
If you start feeling stressed or anxious question it, what are you doing that very moment that's making you feel like that? If you are more aware of the triggers it is a lot easier to manage because you can take steps to avoid the triggers.


2. Talk to others.
It's always good to speak to a close friend or family member if you're feeling stressed or anxious. If you have a lot going on in your mind it often helps to talk through them. This also helps because you will start to list all the things that are causing the stress/anxiety and it is easier then to list ways to cope with them. Also it can feel like you're taking a bit of that weight off your shoulders when you talk to someone about it.


3. Use relaxation tips.
If you know what helps you to relax than do it, you know it helps to make you feel calm so when you are feeling stressed and anxious then that's the time to do it. Maybe you find taking a bath is relaxing, listening to music, going out for a walk/run, talking to someone, meeting up with a friend, making yourself your favourite meal, getting a duvet and lying on the sofa watching a film/television program, if you find mindfulness and meditation helps you can do that. If you have something on your mind that's bothering you, although it's good to get it sorted, sometimes the better option is to distract yourself just for an hour or so, forget about it and do something you know you will find relaxing and then go back to it at a later date.


4. Look after your physical health.
This is so important, it is common for those suffering with stress and anxiety to stop looking after their physical health which will cause more stress. These include:

  • Getting enough sleep, you find that if you don't get enough sleep often negative feelings are likely to be exaggerated and this will cause you to feel irritable and more stressed. 

  • Physical activity is also important - how many of you have been so unmotivated to go to the gym or go out for a run but you force yourself to go and when you're back how positive do you feel? I always find that I moan about going to the gym but when I get home afterwards or the next morning I'm feeling so much more positive and happy. There are some reasons behind why exercise can help relieve stress - exercise lowers your body's stress hormones in the long run, it also helps to release endorphins which are chemicals that improve your mood and act as a natural painkiller. Also carrying on from sleep - exercise can help to improve your sleep quality. It can also help with your confidence, if you exercise regularly you may feel more confident in your body which helps with your mental well-being.

  • Eating healthy/well - this has a positive impact on your physical and mental health. Something to add to this can be reducing your caffeine intake - high doses of caffeine can increase anxiety - this is found in coffee, tea, chocolate and energy drinks. However people do have different thresholds for how much caffeine can be tolerated but if you start to notice that its making you feel jittery or anxious then it is wise to cut back on it.


5. Remember to give yourself a break. 
If you make a mistake please forgive yourself - everyone makes mistakes. If you don't achieve something then don't worry about it, it is disheartening when you don't get the grade you want, or you don't get that job you applied for but it's fine, you can try again. You have to remember that nobody is perfect, we will be rejected, we will make mistakes, we will fail things but this is what you have to go through to get the successes.


6. Light a candle. 
This might sound strange but this can help to lower anxiety and stress and also helps you to sleep. Certain scents are especially soothing, examples such as - Lavender, rose, vetiver and bergamot to name a few. This is a well known method to help treat your mood and it is called aromatherapy - it can decrease anxiety and improve sleep.


7. Writing things down. 
Sometimes if you're feeling stressed because you've got too much to do then write down a list and dates or times that you wish to have these done by and work on them one at a time. Also as well as writing down things that are making you stressed it's good to write down the things that you are grateful for. This can help you to focus on the positive aspects in your life and it will probably surprise you how long the list will be!


8. I mentioned above about talking to friends and family but it is also important to spend time with them.
Organise a day out with someone or a group, you'll probably find that it will be fun and if you do have something on your mind that is stressing you out then having a good day out can really help. Sometimes when I feel anxious or when I'm feeling down I don't want to do anything, I usually just want to come home from work and get into bed and just watch something on Netflix, but sometimes when I'm feeling that way if I push myself to go meet a friend I feel so much better afterwards. This also gives you a good opportunity to talk to them and tell them how you're feeling.


9. Spend some time with your pet (if you have one).
This might sound weird but there are studies out there that show that pets can help relieve stress. Interacting with pets may help to release oxytocin which is a brain chemical that promotes a positive mood. It can also help by giving you a purpose, keeping you active (if you have a pet that you can take out for walks) and provides companionship - these are all qualities that help to reduce stress and anxiety.

10. Have some 'me time.' 
It is known that here in the UK we work the longest hours in Europe meaning we often don't get to spend time doing things we enjoy. Maybe you can set aside a few nights a week for some quality 'me time' away from work.



These are just a few ways to help manage stress and anxiety - I hope they are helpful.

Chat soon ❤

Sunday, 27 May 2018

Mental Health - The Truth

Good afternoon!


How happy are you that it's a bank holiday weekend?! I know I am!

I'm just counting down the days till I go on holiday which is on the 2nd of June - not too long to wait now! Next week will probably go extremely slow for me as I'm just waiting for that day!!



Mental Health Statistics


As it has been Mental Health Awareness a few weeks ago I thought I would write a post on some of the statistics, I've been doing some research into it and it's quite scary how many people have had or are experiencing mental health issues as you read this.

1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year, and in England 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem like anxiety and depression in any given week. Researching into this it is known that overall the number of people with mental health issues has not changed significantly in recent years however people the ways of how people are trying to cope with them is getting worse - more people self harm or have suicidal thoughts.  

 Every 7 years a survey is done in England to see how common specific mental health problems are, the last was done in 2016 and these were the results:

Generalised anxiety disorder - 5.9 in 100 people
Depression - 3.3 in 100
Phobias - 2.4 in 100
OCD - 1.3 in 100
Panic Disorder - 0.6 in 100
PTSD - 4.4 in 100
Mixed anxiety and depression - 7.8 in 100

In the mental health awareness week we just had the main focus for many charities was stress so there had been a study that has just been done on mental health caused by stress.

From the website - https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statistics/mental-health-statistics-stress you can see all the statistics there, but I will mention a few.

From the past year 74 percent of people have felt so stressed they have been unable to cope or felt so overwhelmed by it. However the percentage of older people to younger adults there is a major difference, 30 percent of older people reported to never feel so stressed they couldn't cope to only 7 percent of younger people who had reported to never feel this way.

Adding onto this, 51 percent of adults who felt stressed reported feeling depressed and 61 percent feeling anxious - the stats are so high and also quite sad to see. There are so many different causes to stress which are resulting to feeling depressed and anxious, these include:

  • Having a friend or relative with a long-term health condition
  • Having a lot of debt
  • The feeling of needing to respond to messages instantly 
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Appearance and body image
  • Housing worries
  • A high statistic for younger people is from the pressure to succeed - 60 percent of 18-24 year olds and 41 percent of 25-34 year olds reported this, compared to 17 percent of 45-54 year olds and only 6 percent for those over 55. 

If you want to see the exact statistics for these you can click onto the link above.

Mental Health in Young People


I thought I'd discuss a few statistics of mental health problems with young people as I am under that category. 
  1. 10 percent of school children have a diagnosable mental illness - in average if you had a class of 30 children, three will have a mental health problem. 
  2. It is said that 75 percent of young people with a mental health problem are not receiving treatment for it. 
  3. Suicide is the biggest killer of young people in the UK - it is the leading cause of death in young men and women aged 20-34. It is also revealed that the number of young suicides each year is greater than it has been for the past 10 years. 
  4. More than half of young people link mental illness with alienation and isolation
  5. More than half of young people feel embarrassed about mental illness - it is reported that females are more likely to say they have a mental health problem than males. 
These are just a few statistics I have got from surveys - it just goes to show how big the problem is.

I don't want to bombard you with too many numbers but I just wanted to outline how many people suffer with mental health problems, these statistics as well will not be including everyone - there's so many people out there that suffer with these issues but won't have gone to a professional to be diagnosed or sought help or treatment.

I hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend whatever you are doing. As always, chat soon!

Saturday, 12 May 2018

Putting yourself first

Good afternoon!

Apologies for the lack of posting on a Sunday recently, I won't say I'll always have a post out on a Sunday because they'll be weeks where I just don't get the chance to sit down and write, as you've noticed for the last few weeks!

At the moment I seem to be busy every weekend and working in the week so it's been quite hectic! But of course I will always make time to do some blogging as it's something I enjoy and it's quite relaxing writing, especially when you have a million and one thoughts on your mind.

Be a little selfish, put yourself first.


I've decided to write a post on putting yourself first, I feel this is something very important to do. We often put others first and we tend to look after others before ourselves. Of course it is a lovely thing to look after others and I'm not saying you shouldn't but it's always good to put yourself first sometimes.

 From reading the 'Self Care' book by Mel Noakes she mentions quite a good example of this of when you go on an aeroplane - when they go through the flight safety instructions they mention that when the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling you should put yours on before helping others around you.

    "The simple fact is you can't give from an empty well. If you're struggling to cope, if you can't breathe, how can you possibly help anyone else? Self care and looking after yourself actually enable you to be stronger for those that you love, to be able to help more effectively and to become a positive role model for the people around you."

There's so many different ways and situations to put yourself first. Here is a list of a few:

1. If you're out with someone and you start to feel anxious then tell them, say out loud that you're feeling anxious. Instead of hiding it and probably making yourself feel more anxious because you're worried that the people around you will think you're acting differently, let them know how you're feeling.

2. Make sure you're feeling comfortable, if you're not then do something about it. There's no harm in taking yourself out of a situation if you don't feel comfortable. If you're out with your friends and you start to feel so anxious and uncomfortable don't be afraid to step out. If you were sitting at a restaurant and you started to feel anxious just say that you need to go to the toilet, hide there for a few minutes, take some deep breaths before heading back out.

3. Give yourself more time. Sometimes I find when I'm feeling more anxious before going to work I like to get up earlier just to give myself that extra time to relax. I usually like to get ready for work and then have a good 20 minutes to just sit down and chill out before heading out to work. You can do this in any situation, before going to school/college, going to a friends house or a party etc.

4. Treat yourself. This is a very important thing to do and I'm not just saying this because I like to buy myself loads of new items but hey, it makes you feel good. How does it make you feel when you get a parcel and its those new t'shirts you've ordered? Or you go out and buy a film you've always wanted to watch or a new game you've wanted for so long. Little treats like that can really help you feel more positive, it's never a selfish thing to treat yourself.

5. Note down what triggers your anxiety. I do find that if something triggers your anxiety you shouldn't not do that thing but sometimes when you're feeling so anxious it's not always good to put yourself in the situations that you know will cause you to feel stressed/anxious.

6. Don't downplay your emotions. Explain to the people close to you how you're feeling, that way they'll be able to understand when you're feeling your most anxious, they can understand the situation and help you to get through it. It also helps others understand just what anxiety can do to someone.


There's so many other examples of putting yourself first but I just wanted to highlight a few. In putting yourself first it can help you to feel positive about yourself, it makes you feel good. It's good to be selfish sometimes. 😊

As it's a blog post about putting yourself first I thought I'd end it with a selfie of myself, just so happens that I've had my hair cut and dyed 💚

Hope you enjoyed this little post and remember to put yourself first and you treat yo self!

As always, chat soon.

xx